2998

Ordinarily, I wouldn't be writing about President Gerald Ford. Even on the occasion of his death. That's not to say I didn't respect the man. I think he stepped up at a difficult time in history and both literally and figuratively brought us all back from the edge. We're facing perilous times again in this country and I don't sense another Gerald Ford waiting in the wings ...

2998. That's a frightening reality. By the end of the year we are likely to see that number reach 3000.

Actually, I'm writing tonight because I'm off for the next four days ! Sunday, New Year's Day, Tuesday's National Day of Mourning, and my regular day off this cycle, Wednesday. I am fried. Tired, a bit cranky and largely uninspired. I keep thinking I'm going to be rested. That I'm going to find some time to catch up on thank you's and letters and everything else collecting dust in my art space. I've added to the contents of the box sent to me by blueness, and I'm prepared to pass it along ASAP.

Maybe I'll write tomorrow. Maybe I actually WILL get a good night's sleep.

Ahhhh .... yes .... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's

Merry Christmas !

Is it windy over there ?

( BTW ...these are three DIFFERENT trees, in different locations on my route ! )


I've seen it windy here, but never like this. I am assuming it's just Georgie's " mojo-juju " acting up again. ( Don't ever let her tell you she's anything but a powerful, super-hero-like chick. It's always the mild-mannered ones who pack a big punch ! ) Actually, I'm loving this crazy weather. And it's not even winter yet !

The post office has been pitch black the past two days. I work in a dungeon. Really. No windows, so no natural light. With the power out, we tried to case ( sort ) our mail by the light of headlamps ( small ones ) that attached to caps on our heads, or to bands that wrapped across our foreheads. Crazy, I tell ya ! The P.O expected us to be there and work with no lights or heat, but provided us NOTHING to get the job done. The headlamps were things we had brought in ourselves, as were the dozen or so flashlights. What a classy place, that P.O !

My route looked like a war zone in places. Littered streets, with branches, debris, fallen trees and power lines. A bit surreal in places. No one on my route was hurt, and by tonight I am assuming that most folks have their power back on.

At our house we never lost power. We have had the kids over since Friday AM and tonight we had ourselves, the kids, my folks, my sister and her partner and my aunt and uncle. ( Plus two extra dogs ) Kelly LIVES for nights like this. She was completely prepared with food( buttermilk fried chicken, stuffing, coffeecake ), coffee, tea and warm comfort. She's a great hostess and I'm sure everyone was happy to get warm and fed ! I'm lucky. She's a good person. No, a great person ;)

We missed a show on Thursday night because of the storm. We were going to see Kevin Kling. Google him. He's a fascinating character and a hilarious, engaging storyteller. The Theater refunded our tickets immediately. Bravo to the Seattle Rep !

Sometime in the next few days I have a LOT of presents to wrap. Back-wrenching amounts. Probably a hundred gifts ( since we wrap stocking stuffers ). I shopped smarter this year, but it still strikes me as too much.

This is a hard time of year for me. Work is busy, days are shorter, and my drive seems longer. I have a hard time staying connected to people, though I try like hell not to lose touch. Other people are blogging about this too. Connecting. It's part art, part science, part patience and a very specific formula that balances each of these. It's like juggling plates.

Really. Glass plates.

Juggling.

I am already daydreaming about my first vacation week next year : Paint the bathroom, do art, take a drive or two, and stack the plates for awhile .... Ahhhhh .... doesn't that sound great ...

PORTLAND

Happy Birthday To Me ! ( Again ! )

While it might not seem like a big deal to some people, today is the day I quit smoking ! I seem to have had a bit of a brain-fart on the year, but I believe this is my " magic " birthday of sorts ! 12/12 and my 12th year as a non-smoker ! Yay for me !

I know I promised Portland pictures ... it was an awesome weekend and we had a blast ! Everything from HOURS at Powell's, to a wonderful dinner out, to the Tea Zone, which I absolutely fell in love with ! The pictures are on my phone. I'll offload them as soon as I find the energy. They won't be brilliant and crisp, but if you can handle hazy and soft ... stay tuned !

2923 !

It's not even the middle of December yet and already I am thinking of New Year's resolutions. I used to believe they were the big joke. You know, some great excess you acknowledge in December ( eating, spending, etc... ) and you resolve to do it different with the turn of a calendar page and a new year. This year, I seem to be hammered with hints about changes I need to make.

First. I am absolutely overwhelmed with " stuff " . I have, to some degree, become of those people I hate : the conspicuous consumer. I need to resolve to find a new way to " capture the essence " of those things I love. I don't have to buy them all. I'm not sure how to thin out the " stuff " I already have, but I'm thinking it will involve giving things away to people who will appreciate them more than I can. It's not crap, mind you. I have some great " stuff " . It's just that after awhile nothing really is special when it is competing for attention with all the other special things. I think that Anne Morrow Lindbergh wrote about simplicity in a way that makes sense.

Second. Paper. I am buried in it. I HAVE to resolve to re-use more. We do a good job of recycling, but what we need to do is begin to eliminate the need for some things. Plastic baggies, for example. An unnecessary part of my lunch. I have a great lunch case I use everyday, but I waste baggies to hold my goodies. Yesterday it hit me like a ton of bricks. TOO MUCH WASTE. Like I said, we recycle well, but we USE too much of certain products. I need to change my whole thinking about this.

And my art room needs more actual art coming out of it ! I have stacks and piles of paper products looking to be transformed into something else. It seems I'm collecting more " stuff " to create WITH and actually creating, less. Remember the art-o-mat project I was working on ? I'm STILL not finished with it ! Can that even be true ?

Third. I need to stay focused on positive things. Traffic alone can absolutely ruin a perfectly good day for me. I need to find some alternative ways to spend that time so I don't feel so aggravated by the inevitable. I can't change the commute, so I need to change how I FEEL about the commute.

And just generally, I need to GROW LOVE, and GROW KINDNESS and GROW PATIENCE. Am I expecting too much ?

At any rate, we are escaping our everyday lives this weekend by taking a train trip to Portland. We'll be staying at the Hilton Downtown and spending most of our time at Powell's Books. I can't even tell you how giddy I am to be going somewhere that will not involve sitting in traffic, but WILL involve rooms and rooms of books. Sounds like a wonderful treat, to be sure ! Pictures when I get home !

Happy Getting Ready for Christmas !

Now I just need some packages !

Happy Birthday To Me !

From what I understand, this snow and ice are the product of some weird " catalytic-mojo-juju-vibe " from George. Not sure quite how she channeled this extreme weather stuff, but it IS making for an interesting month so far. Last night's commute took me 4 hours ! The major Interstate ( I-405 ) was an absolute skating rink. I'm lucky to have made it home in one piece. As much as I think I'd like a new car, I have to say that my 1998 Honda is a godsend in times like these.

It's my birthday today and I'm celebrating by staying home ! I called into work and they are very understanding about my unwillingness to commute IN to work today. I am certainly not alone. It will be an interesting day at most P.O's. The trucks need to get IN before the mail can go out. That, in and of itself, will be a big challenge. The news cycles throughout the day will be filled with traffic and weather reports. As for me ... I'll be staying IN. I will get to decorate the house and tree today, get my Christmas stuff organized, and maybe even kick back and write a letter or two.

It's actually an ideal way to spend my birthday*

We will celebrate with my family on Saturday night, and Kelly and I have our Portland trip planned over HER birthday weekend.

* Brief update to the statement about my " very understanding " boss. The Station Manager called me just now and tried to " bully " me into coming in. Now THAT'S more like the P.O I know !

Pike Place Day

RAIN

I don't even want to go out and get the paper ! So there it sits ...

2831

Most of you may have seen the Blue Dog series of photos by George Rodrigue. This painting also has the Red Dog and I find the muse for this art fascinating. The Blue Dog is known as " the spirit wanderer " ... the Red Dog is " the primal energy that infuses both flesh and spirit " . These are wonderful paintings and the artist has many stories to tell about these wonderful spirits. I had been helping my aunt find frames for a series of Blue Dog paintings and yesterday she gifted me with this one. It will go great in my wildly purple art room !

Life is settling into some semblance of normalcy. There is still much going on but it seems a bit more manageable at least for the moment. Dad is recovering well, Gramps is doing his best with his broken wrist and everyone else in the family is holding their own.

It's been a long week for me. Lousy traffic, combined with lousy weather and a buttload of political mail have made for some very long days. The election is finally near ... Tuesday. The mailings and ugly TV ads will finally end, but the controversy is likely to be just beginning. My " prediction " is that the results will be suspect ( regardless of who wins ), and there will be months of fighting over it all. Politics and all the ugliness of it has sunk to a new low this year. Our Constitutional system of government is at stake. I only hope people are truly becoming enlightened as to the very dangerous possibilities of remaining on this current path.

It's time to start thinking about the holidays too. I wish there were better ways to " gift " people this time of year without buying into the commercial nightmare that it's become. Anyone have any good ideas for thoughtful gifts that people will actually appreciate ? (that DON'T involve a trip to the mall ) I know I could make things, but I'm not sure everyone would appreciate the effort. Is it wrong not to want to do it unless it's appreciated ? At any rate, I'm looking for unusual, non-traditional " gifts " this year. I'd appreciate any suggestions ...

Other than that, nothing too excting. We DO have a train trip planned down to Portland in December. It's just for an overnight downtown, with trips to Hawthorne Street and Mississippi Ave as well as Powell's Books. Should be fun to take the train ! I will document our trip in pictures ;)

That's all for now ...

The CHICKS !

The Dixie Chicks have a documentary being released today called " Shut Up and Sing ". It chronicles their rise and fall over the course of the past few years. You'll remember that Natalie made a comment at one point about being ashamed the President was from Texas. She's not the only one who felt that way, but at the time she was the only one brave enough to say it aloud. BRAVO to the Dixie Chicks and a great big THANK YOU for having the courage to stand up for free speech in this country.

I've been struggling this week with balance. It's not always easy to achieve when you're so far out of it. I'm trying to keep everything in my world in perspective but I feel like I'm failing miserably. There is just NO GOOD REASON why I shouldn't be enjoying my life more. I just feel like I'm really out of balance inside and I'm struggling with how to bring myself back. I'll try acupuncture. It usually helps restore a sense of order to my chaotic insides. I am reading a book given me by George the other night, which while in some respects feels a bit over my head, in other respects feels very insightful and restorative on a level that really needs the lift. ( Thanks again, George * ) . I'm also trying to get enough sleep.

I'm off the next few days. I'm dreading a family get-together tomorrow, but am focusing today on detaching from some of the more negative feelings I have with regard to the whole evening. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the kids. Seems like it's been ages ...

Free Hugs Campaign. Inspiring Story! (music by sick puppies)

LOVE LOVE LOVE this !

Some Positive Notes

In spite of the growing number of dead in IRAQ ( 2782 today ) I thought I'd balance my last post with a few things that are of positive note. Always, there are many, many things to be grateful for and to feel hopeful about.

So ... in no particular order :

Dad came home Monday night* It's been a grueling month for him ( and all of us ) but I believe he has turned the corner and is doing great !

We saw the kids, if only briefly, over the weekend and they seem to be doing just wonderful !

Work has allowed me some time to care for my family during this transition.

Kelly is moving forward and has her first networking job !

I'll get some time in the next few days to catch up on letters and phone calls.

The weather has been perfect lately ... mild with some rain and sun and a bit of a breeze. I do love the fall weather ...

Since I've not heard otherwise, I am assuming my ultrasound was just fine and I'm as good as I can be !

I'm hopeful there will be changes in November by way of elections.

We have two pumpkins sitting on our front porch ... one a nice orange one and one white one, which is just too cool !

I just rediscovered my voodoo doll ...

We'll be seeing Gramps today ... he broke his wrist last Friday and needs to be fitted for a sling and have it cast on Friday. I'll post an update on him on PX later.

I woke up again this morning. That's always a miracle to me. And next to me was Kelly, whom I am so lucky to have. I drank good coffee, stumbled onto the driveway of my great house to get the paper, and realize that I have dozens of things to be grateful for before I really even begin my day !

Now, if there could only be PEACE in the world ....

WORRIES

In honor of my fellow blogger, blueness ... here are MY worries :
( in no particular order ...)

Fall is coming and leaves are falling all over the yard.
My Dad is STILL in the hospital after 6 days.
My Mom is a trooper, but this is beginning to wear on her .
I have an ultrasound tomorrow ( fingers crossed )
The kids look SO tired ... I hope they're sleeping enough.
My car has 167,000 miles on it.
My art-o-mat project is taking forever !
I need to make a dental appointment.
I don't have a lot of time lately.
We are operating at about two thirds our usual income.
I am dealing with two practicing alcoholics in my world and it's a drag.
I have an eight`inch pile that has developed on my desk.
My commute gets even longer in winter.
I will not be able to splurge AT ALL this Christmas.
I need a haircut.
My skin feels old.
I need some passion in my life.
I have committed to a " sleepover " for the kids this weekend, but I think my parents will need me more.
Our country is going to hell in a handbasket.
Elections have become ugly and unreliable.
My nephew could be drafted someday.
I haven't given Karri her gift yet. It's overdue.
I should have an offering to my " other " Kari, but I don't know what it would be.
I haven't heard from Tom and Claire since last week.
The dog needs allergy tests.
I haven't planted those dang bulbs yet.
The grass needs to be mowed.
I haven't called George in a week. I feel like a bad friend.
I see dust from where I'm sitting.

Ok. I could go on all night. I'm hoping that by doing this " mind dump " I can turn this worry of mine over to the Universe and be done with it ...

Wish me luck.

( BTW Blue, you aren't crazy OR alone ....)

2753

I don't think we always understand when people say "stop and smell the roses " . It's this metaphor for " slow down " ...but it can be very effective at putting things in a new perspective. I shot this rose a couple weeks ago in my front yard. I fed them one last time before fall settles in and they bloomed into these magnificent flowers. I have actually been taking time to really tend them ...to see that they have enough water, food and that they are fully and duly appreciated. And I have been rewarded ...

in other news ...

I've fallen off a bit this past couple weeks. Dad is back in the hospital after a nasty emergency surgery to remove a very sick gall bladder. We keep hoping he will see some improvement but so far his recovery is quite slow. Please keep praying for him and keeping the good, positive thoughts headed our direction. I worry as much about my Mom, too. Maybe ask your God to give a little " shout out " to her too.

We have spent hours at the hospital. It looks like he'll be there until at least Friday, maybe longer. We've seen many different nurses come and go, some have really touched our lives in a way that has made it just a little easier to cope. I have a great appreciation for the good ones. People who have a gentleness about them. People who remember they are dealing with fragile human beings. Fragile physically,emotionally and sometimes spiritually. It takes a special kind of person to be a GOOD nurse. Anyone could go through the motions ... anyone can fluff a pillow and change a bedpan ... the ones who have managed to keep their humanity have my undying gratitude and respect.

My other " family situation " is parked in neutral somewhere. It's probably for the best. Not much else I can say at the moment.

Kelly is working on a few projects, but is planning to look for something more regular with regard to employment. Also probably for the best. With some consistency we can budget and plan. Without anything consistent, it's almost impossible to plan responsibly and THAT makes me crazy ! Put some good energy out in the Universe for her, too.

I'll check back in soon. Off again today and headed up to the hospital !

Sunday Scribblings ~ INSTRUCTIONS

2700

This is the time of year I like to call " leaf season ". For as much as I absolutely love the towering, beautiful birch tree in my front yard ( and one in the back, too ) I dread fall and the loss of all those leaves. It creates the need for endless raking. And it's not the kind of job that is easy or particularly satisfying. By the time you get most of them raked up, the tools put away, and take a nice hot shower, the yard is covered again in golden droplets. You look in amazement at the blanket of leaves and you just know Mother Nature is somewhere just a hootin' and a hollerin' with delight ! Ahhhh, such is fall. It really IS a pain to rake so often, but the truth is, the leaves are really beautiful in their own way. I suppose if they weren't also blowing into my neighbors yard I might leave them be, and just do the job once !















Aside from the onset of fall, not much happening today. Still waiting for Dad's appointment on Tuesday. I trust that it will be revealing in some respect although if I know the health care system, we may not know much THAT DAY. It's been nerve-wracking to say the least. Keep a good thought *

Today will be spent mowing the lawn and trimming the roses. The Seahawks play the Giants and it will be a good test to see just how good they are I'll be parked on the couch for that game regardless of the beckoning sunshine outside. I also still have my Art-O-Mat project to complete. I'm about a third of the way there. FIFTY is a lot of pieces ! I expect that once I really get on a roll that it will go quickly. But art takes time. It can't be rushed. Letters need to be written too. I know I am dreadfully behind on that. I've been sending a few postcards, but not as many as I'd like. My PX friend George is about to become a neighbor ! She and her husband are leaving next week and should be here on the weekend ! It still feels a little awkward as the ether becomes real life, but that awkwardness will pass. They will love Seattle, methinks ! They'll be living very near downtown, in a fun part of the city. Hopefully I can hustle George at pool at The Garage ( bar/pool hall ) ... I haven't been there for years, and it's in the neighborhood.

I'll be back later with a Sunday Scribbling post !

A big sigh of relief .... for now

What a roller-coaster week ! A week ago this past Tuesday, my Dad went into the hospital with pain in his chest and abdomen. By Wednesday night ( after two previous trips to emergency ) they finally admitted him. He was SO sick. They ran lots of tests and by Thursday they had diagnosed him with a rare disease and things were looking bleak as to the options for his treatment.

He went home a week ago, believing the worst about his condition. Yesterday, we had an appointment and the doctor backed off of the previous diagnosis and said he believed the worst of this was over. There is another test scheduled for the 26th, but until then, things seem MUCH more optimistic today !

There oughta be a law about doctors speaking before they have all the information. While he was in the hospital,we had occasion to speak to FOUR DIFFERENT people involved in his care and all of them said something a little different. I can understand ( sort of )about preparing someone for the worst so that the reality doesn't seem so terrible. But THIS diagnosis had come with a pretty bleak picture and today it seems pretty much the opposite.

The health care system sucks. From the cold, stark rooms in emergency, to the care in a hospital by an obviously overworked nursing staff, to the lack of clarity in diagnosing an illness. It all sucks. You get caught up in it and realize that it is " just a job " to everyone involved except the patient and family. I'm not slamming the nursing profession, but there is SO much for them to do, that actually caring for the patients ( and families, to some degree ) takes a back seat to all the " tasks " that must be completed.

Thanks to everyone for your good energy and your prayers. What seemed so dark just a couple days ago, feels very manageable today for us all.

I still have another family issue that is breaking my heart. I won't get into the details, but suffice to say it has changed the way I feel about a few people in my family and I am at a loss for what to do. It is poised to become a huge " thing " and I'm hoping that can be avoided without my having to compromise my own values as a person. I don't know that I have the willingness to do that ...Truth is, I don't even know if I can ...

On a bighter note : I got to meet a PX'er !!

George and her husband Derek came up to Seattle to house-hunt and Kelly and I met them for dinner. I'm always nervous about meeting new people. There is something about the transition from " the ether " to real space. The thing I always use as my " yardstick " is how genuine people seem to be. These two are great ! And a great pair, to boot ! George is funny, smart and sweet. She would have you believe she's a handful ( which I'm sure is quite true ! ) but she was a charming dinner guest, and I hope to get a chance to know her much better when she moves north ! Derek is a delight too ! He and Kelly were buried in conversation about things I know virtually nothing about. I think they enjoyed the night, too ( I know Kelly did ) " Good people " . That says it all right there. Good, genuine, nice people.

I hope they find the perfect place here in Seattle. It seems like a good fit. Like they belong here somehow. And I would love a new friend in " real space " ...

2638 ~ TIME to pause ...and reflect

Laurence Britt has examined the fascist regimes of Hitler (Germany), Mussolini (Italy), Franco (Spain), Suharto (Indonesia) and several Latin American regimes. Britt found 14-defining characteristics common to each:

1. Powerful and Continuing Nationalism - Fascist regimes tend to make constant use of patriotic mottos, slogans, symbols, songs, and other paraphernalia. Flags are seen everywhere, as are flag symbols on clothing and in public displays.

2. Disdain for the Recognition of Human Rights - Because of fear of enemies and the need for security, the people in fascist regimes are persuaded that human rights can be ignored in certain cases because of "need." The people tend to look the other way or even approve of torture, summary executions, assassinations, long incarcerations of prisoners, etc.

3. Identification of Enemies/Scapegoats as a Unifying Cause - The people are rallied into a unifying patriotic frenzy over the need to eliminate a perceived common threat or foe: racial , ethnic or religious minorities; liberals; communists; socialists, terrorists, etc.

4. Supremacy of the Military - Even when there are widespread domestic problems, the military is given a disproportionate amount of government funding, and the domestic agenda is neglected. Soldiers and military service are glamorized.

5. Rampant Sexism - The governments of fascist nations tend to be almost exclusively male-dominated. Under fascist regimes, traditional gender roles are made more rigid. Divorce, abortion and homosexuality are suppressed and the state is represented as the ultimate guardian of the family institution.

6. Controlled Mass Media - Sometimes to media is directly controlled by the government, but in other cases, the media is indirectly controlled by government regulation, or sympathetic media spokespeople and executives. Censorship, especially in war time, is very common.

7. Obsession with National Security - Fear is used as a motivational tool by the government over the masses.

8. Religion and Government are Intertwined - Governments in fascist nations tend to use the most common religion in the nation as a tool to manipulate public opinion. Religious rhetoric and terminology is common from government leaders, even when the major tenets of the religion are diametrically opposed to the government's policies or actions.

9. Corporate Power is Protected - The industrial and business aristocracy of a fascist nation often are the ones who put the government leaders into power, creating a mutually beneficial business/government relationship and power elite.

10. Labor Power is Suppressed - Because the organizing power of labor is the only real threat to a fascist government, labor unions are either eliminated entirely, or are severely suppressed.

11. Disdain for Intellectuals and the Arts - Fascist nations tend to promote and tolerate open hostility to higher education, and academia. It is not uncommon for professors and other academics to be censored or even arrested. Free expression in the arts and letters is openly attacked.

12. Obsession with Crime and Punishment - Under fascist regimes, the police are given almost limitless power to enforce laws. The people are often willing to overlook police abuses and even forego civil liberties in the name of patriotism. There is often a national police force with virtually unlimited power in fascist nations.

13. Rampant Cronyism and Corruption - Fascist regimes almost always are governed by groups of friends and associates who appoint each other to government positions and use governmental power and authority to protect their friends from accountability. It is not uncommon in fascist regimes for national resources and even treasures to be appropriated or even outright stolen by government leaders.

14. Fraudulent Elections - Sometimes elections in fascist nations are a complete sham. Other times elections are manipulated by smear campaigns against or even assassination of opposition candidates, use of legislation to control voting numbers or political district boundaries, and manipulation of the media. Fascist nations also typically use their judiciaries to manipulate or control elections.


An interview with the author:

http://www.rochester-citynews.com/gyrobase/Content?oid=oid%3A3136

Sunday Scribblings-The Monster

On the surface, this seems like an easy post. The monster under the bed or in the closet or outside the window. Oh, I've had those visits. The noises that made me jump in the night. Sometimes a smell or a " feeling ". I never met those monsters back then. I grew up.

But so did they.

I met the monster again in my early twenties. It came disguised in a bottle.

It began as a beautiful friendship. We'd go out on the weekends and had a wonderful time together. The monster had me seduced from the beginning. I felt smarter, funnier and more attractive. I'd even have it over during the week once in awhile and it had a way of making me more creative ... even brilliant, I thought. We quickly became inseparable. We spent nearly every evening together. When the monster moved in, things began to change.

Mornings were the hardest. The monster seemed different then. Unpredictable. I started waking with hurt feelings and nagging headaches. The monster offered no real comfort, just more of the same. When I tried to back off, the monster refused to let me go. When I threw it out of the house, it would instinctly know how to find me and get an invitation to come back in. Our relationship became less about the fear of the earlier years or the comradery of the middle years, and more about destruction and control. The monster won for awhile. I allowed it to stay, only because I couldn't find a way to make it leave. It lingered. Like a headache or a cold.

Over sixteen years ago I finally DID find a way to say goodbye. It wasn't pleasant and it wasn't easy. It's like I have a restraining order that is strictly enforced. It's always there. Around the corner, in the restaurant, at parties with friends ... but it stays away as long as I don't invite it back in.

I don't MISS the monster these days. I respect it.

2611

2607

Just a " little lie " ....

So. A big surprise this morning. Nothing like waking up to " breaking news ". I believe these "foiled plots " are designed to keep us all in that very pliable state where we are most easily manipulated. By design, our feelings SHOULD ( if ROVE is still as brilliant as he believes he is ) alternate between outright fear and gratitude that Georgie is keeping us safe with news of his " foiled plot " . Of course, it wouldn't be complete without a mention of Al Queda. Yes, that IS the buzzword. That word that should strike fear in our hearts. ( the " little lie " I'm referencing )

The bad guys are still out there ... BE AFRAID ! Do not let your guard down !

Blah, blah, blah ...

For those who follow my complex conspiracy theory, this is just another piece of the puzzle. Ultimately, I believe we have seen our last free and fair election. I predicted last year that the "alert level " would once again be manipulated. Read my post from : June 11, 2005. Granted, it's a bit " out there " ... but the core of my argument has merit. Little things are happening. Most recently, this administration has proposed taking over control of the National Guard in a time of crisis. Now why in the world would THAT be a good idea ? Why hand over control from the Governors to the President ? Especially after the great federal failure that was their response to Katrina. Why in the world would anyone go for that ? Why in the world would anyone even suggest it ?

I believe it is all a part of the plan to implement martial law when the elections are cancelled. We already have domestic law enforcement in place on the Mexican border. Canada will surely be next, and the coasts are relatively easy to control by comparison. The only place we would be left exposed would be Florida. And that's where Jeb is. A chilling scenario, really.

OK. So more breaking news :

I have a big " sale " to prepare for with the kids. It should be an interesting experience for all of us ... wish us luck !

Sunday Scribblings

" Who Else Might I Have Been ..."

Well, THAT is quite a question, ain't it.

First off let me say that I am perfectly content with who I am.

I sometimes find myself wondering how my life might have been different had I made different CHOICES, but I really don't give it A LOT of energy . I have a great house, a wonderful partner and a supportive family. Beyond that, most things are irrelevant. I work as a letter carrier full time and an artist part time. I'd love to swap those around, but that isn't how things worked out for me.

The Post Office is a rigid place. It's never been a very good fit with my very " flexible " way of thinking. I have often wondered why I stay doing this job. I've been there over 16 years now. To some degree it defines me. But not how you'd think ...

I love the mail. Not the crap that passes for mail most days, but the letters, the packages, the postcards that inevitably still arrive. I love the feel of letters. I love how sometimes they smell of perfume or cigarettes. Mostly though, this job is about the people.

Not even so much the people I work WITH. It's the people I've come to know through delivering TO. I have made friends, very good friends, through this job. I've touched the lives of people I could never have known any other way if I didn't do this job. I've watched kids grow up. I've watched people lose pets and loved ones. I've talked with people through those losses. I've reached out to help those who just need a little human contact every day. I've learned to be more tolerant. More patient. A better listener. I've learned to be a better person.

If I hadn't made this choice I would not know Candace or Jeanne or Dorothy or Jim and Carolyn. I wouldn't have met Tom and Claire or Todd or Sandra or Kari. I wouldn't have shared the difficult time Margaret had this year, or known Shauna's family or met Mini and Wendy and Ed. I wouldn't have known George. I wouldn't have had the pleasure of Mickey ( the best black lab in the world ) waiting for me every day for a visit, a round of fetch and a couple treats. I wouldn't know Gaye and Pinot and Babette and Susan. There's too many lives I've touched and who have touched mine, to list them all. There is Highland Center, where I've worked with special needs kids the past ten years. I would never have known it was a calling for me to share some of my life with them if I hadn't seen that very special group every day when I dropped off the mail.

Who I am and what I do DOES define me. But it isn't about how much ( or little ) money I make. It isn't about my attendance record or how quickly I complete my rounds. It's about being a touchstone of communication for people. It's about touching all those lives with a consistent and reliable presence. It's about so much more than just a job.

When I ponder who else I might have been, I can't help but think all that I would have to give up to be anyone but who I am.

Maybe I would have finished college, got a degree and cared about the size of my house and car, more than the size of my heart. I might have been more isolated had I chosen other work. I might never have realized my own potential for kindness. I might not have either the time or capacity for others that I have now ...I might not have the kind of relationship I have with Natalie and Blake. I might not be as close to my family.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I might have a fleeting thought of " who else I might have been " but I wouldn't trade who I AM for anything ...

2588

Before and after. Whew ! What a project ! It was my " while you were out " project while Kelly was gone. Luckily, she trusts me on most decorating things so I wasn't TOO concerned she wouldn't like it. It took a good three days from start to finish. I didn't even have to buy too much either. One gallon of good " low odor " paint, some painting supplies, and a fruitful trip to IKEA for some of the pictures, frames and accessories. Kelly loved it ! It gave our room a much needed infusion of serenity. I read what I could on feng shui for the bedroom. It should have good flow and some of the " cures " are actually nice touches. ( For instance, there is a crystal that hangs midway between the door and the window that is opposite ... it's beautiful )

Next up is the bathroom in our room ! I'm thinking chocolate, latte', mocha colors ... all earth stuff ! I can hardly wait !

( BTW : The plumbing issue was fixed for around $270.00.( J & K Plumbing was fabulous ! ) If you're local and you're reading this , take note : DO NOT USE SOUTHWEST PLUMBING. LOSERS ! )

2574

Here's how MY day went ... hope yours was better !
This is a picture of the copper pipe that broke INSIDE the wall of my house. It's attached to the outside faucet and was broken when my landscaper tried to replace the faucet and twisted the assembly with a wrench so hard that it actually twisted the pipe until it broke. The plumber came and gave a $940.00 estimate. Big fat liar ! He just wanted to go home. Loser. Anyway, now I'm without running water until Monday ! Oy !

2544

I've been working to try to rescue the backyard from certain death. The trees give great shade, but kill the grass. I can't commit to the constant watering it would take for even the possibility of keeping it alive. I'm not a huge " bark " fan, but it's the perfect solution for the summer. I tore up much of the lawn in back and I'm trying to reshape things. I have some bird feeders, but too many other critters are getting into them, so I'll have to switch to something else. Maybe a good birdbath and lots of chimes !

The bench is the next project. It's unstable, but a great addition to that spot under the tree. The plan is to paint the wood slats and possibly even the iron frame. I am enlisting the help of Nat and Blake, so it will be a great artistic collaboration ! I'm looking forward to a " riot of color " !

Nothing much else going on. A bit of drama in the family but I'm trying to stay a bit detached from it. Been there, done that, you know ? Been listening to the new Dixie Chicks CD and I just LOVE it ! It's no secret that I agree with their views on Georgie and his war ... but aside from that, it's an awesome listen !

Soccer on hold due to a terrible sciatic nerve issue. Acupuncture tomorrow ... hoping it helps give me some much needed relief ! Tried the chiropractor, but no luck this time. My last resort will be a regular doc who is quick to prescribe physical therapy and drugs ... ughh. Terrible choice. I'm not stupid. I can find ways to manage the " symptoms " ... I need someone to help me resolve the cause.

Sixteen days from vacation. The countdown is on ...

2543

Happy Independence Day

2538

More pics of my day off and OUT in Seattle. Today at work was a nightmare in one sense, a blessing in another. It was a long day ... 7AM to 6PM ... but all overtime ! Now I can afford that extra couple days vacation in July ! Sweet !

But it still drives me nuts to work with people who are SO irresponsible. TWO people called in today. Same two as a few weeks ago. And a few weeks before that, too. Hey ! We've ALL got issues ... we all have crisis and sadness, but c'mon already . Calling in " sick " every time it feels hard to cope ? Shit ! I'd be off half the year if THAT were the way it worked ... I'll try to post something Fourth-of-July-ish tomorrow ...after all, it is INDEPENDENCE DAY.

2536

Nothing quite like a day at the Market. We actually went down to catch a glimpse of Rosie . ( No, it's NOT stupid ! ) We saw the cruise ship ...Went down to the boarding area for a bit, but no Rosie. I'm on my way to Alaska with her in spirit *

I happen to think of Rosie as a kind of mentor, both for politics and her art. Truth is, her " voice " is what comes through loud and clear in both. I love a person who lives at the end of those nerves. Some people work too hard at becoming numb to things. It's less confronting. It requires little, if any, action ... and it dulls the very nerves that are the real center of who we are. Those who know me know that I live wide open. I don't temper my opinions or my passion for things. I've heard it said that if you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much space ... touchee'

Excuse me now while I drift a bit closer to that edge. The view is FAR better over there ...