2611

2607

Just a " little lie " ....

So. A big surprise this morning. Nothing like waking up to " breaking news ". I believe these "foiled plots " are designed to keep us all in that very pliable state where we are most easily manipulated. By design, our feelings SHOULD ( if ROVE is still as brilliant as he believes he is ) alternate between outright fear and gratitude that Georgie is keeping us safe with news of his " foiled plot " . Of course, it wouldn't be complete without a mention of Al Queda. Yes, that IS the buzzword. That word that should strike fear in our hearts. ( the " little lie " I'm referencing )

The bad guys are still out there ... BE AFRAID ! Do not let your guard down !

Blah, blah, blah ...

For those who follow my complex conspiracy theory, this is just another piece of the puzzle. Ultimately, I believe we have seen our last free and fair election. I predicted last year that the "alert level " would once again be manipulated. Read my post from : June 11, 2005. Granted, it's a bit " out there " ... but the core of my argument has merit. Little things are happening. Most recently, this administration has proposed taking over control of the National Guard in a time of crisis. Now why in the world would THAT be a good idea ? Why hand over control from the Governors to the President ? Especially after the great federal failure that was their response to Katrina. Why in the world would anyone go for that ? Why in the world would anyone even suggest it ?

I believe it is all a part of the plan to implement martial law when the elections are cancelled. We already have domestic law enforcement in place on the Mexican border. Canada will surely be next, and the coasts are relatively easy to control by comparison. The only place we would be left exposed would be Florida. And that's where Jeb is. A chilling scenario, really.

OK. So more breaking news :

I have a big " sale " to prepare for with the kids. It should be an interesting experience for all of us ... wish us luck !

Sunday Scribblings

" Who Else Might I Have Been ..."

Well, THAT is quite a question, ain't it.

First off let me say that I am perfectly content with who I am.

I sometimes find myself wondering how my life might have been different had I made different CHOICES, but I really don't give it A LOT of energy . I have a great house, a wonderful partner and a supportive family. Beyond that, most things are irrelevant. I work as a letter carrier full time and an artist part time. I'd love to swap those around, but that isn't how things worked out for me.

The Post Office is a rigid place. It's never been a very good fit with my very " flexible " way of thinking. I have often wondered why I stay doing this job. I've been there over 16 years now. To some degree it defines me. But not how you'd think ...

I love the mail. Not the crap that passes for mail most days, but the letters, the packages, the postcards that inevitably still arrive. I love the feel of letters. I love how sometimes they smell of perfume or cigarettes. Mostly though, this job is about the people.

Not even so much the people I work WITH. It's the people I've come to know through delivering TO. I have made friends, very good friends, through this job. I've touched the lives of people I could never have known any other way if I didn't do this job. I've watched kids grow up. I've watched people lose pets and loved ones. I've talked with people through those losses. I've reached out to help those who just need a little human contact every day. I've learned to be more tolerant. More patient. A better listener. I've learned to be a better person.

If I hadn't made this choice I would not know Candace or Jeanne or Dorothy or Jim and Carolyn. I wouldn't have met Tom and Claire or Todd or Sandra or Kari. I wouldn't have shared the difficult time Margaret had this year, or known Shauna's family or met Mini and Wendy and Ed. I wouldn't have known George. I wouldn't have had the pleasure of Mickey ( the best black lab in the world ) waiting for me every day for a visit, a round of fetch and a couple treats. I wouldn't know Gaye and Pinot and Babette and Susan. There's too many lives I've touched and who have touched mine, to list them all. There is Highland Center, where I've worked with special needs kids the past ten years. I would never have known it was a calling for me to share some of my life with them if I hadn't seen that very special group every day when I dropped off the mail.

Who I am and what I do DOES define me. But it isn't about how much ( or little ) money I make. It isn't about my attendance record or how quickly I complete my rounds. It's about being a touchstone of communication for people. It's about touching all those lives with a consistent and reliable presence. It's about so much more than just a job.

When I ponder who else I might have been, I can't help but think all that I would have to give up to be anyone but who I am.

Maybe I would have finished college, got a degree and cared about the size of my house and car, more than the size of my heart. I might have been more isolated had I chosen other work. I might never have realized my own potential for kindness. I might not have either the time or capacity for others that I have now ...I might not have the kind of relationship I have with Natalie and Blake. I might not be as close to my family.

I wouldn't trade it for the world.

I might have a fleeting thought of " who else I might have been " but I wouldn't trade who I AM for anything ...

2588

Before and after. Whew ! What a project ! It was my " while you were out " project while Kelly was gone. Luckily, she trusts me on most decorating things so I wasn't TOO concerned she wouldn't like it. It took a good three days from start to finish. I didn't even have to buy too much either. One gallon of good " low odor " paint, some painting supplies, and a fruitful trip to IKEA for some of the pictures, frames and accessories. Kelly loved it ! It gave our room a much needed infusion of serenity. I read what I could on feng shui for the bedroom. It should have good flow and some of the " cures " are actually nice touches. ( For instance, there is a crystal that hangs midway between the door and the window that is opposite ... it's beautiful )

Next up is the bathroom in our room ! I'm thinking chocolate, latte', mocha colors ... all earth stuff ! I can hardly wait !

( BTW : The plumbing issue was fixed for around $270.00.( J & K Plumbing was fabulous ! ) If you're local and you're reading this , take note : DO NOT USE SOUTHWEST PLUMBING. LOSERS ! )

2574

Here's how MY day went ... hope yours was better !
This is a picture of the copper pipe that broke INSIDE the wall of my house. It's attached to the outside faucet and was broken when my landscaper tried to replace the faucet and twisted the assembly with a wrench so hard that it actually twisted the pipe until it broke. The plumber came and gave a $940.00 estimate. Big fat liar ! He just wanted to go home. Loser. Anyway, now I'm without running water until Monday ! Oy !

2544

I've been working to try to rescue the backyard from certain death. The trees give great shade, but kill the grass. I can't commit to the constant watering it would take for even the possibility of keeping it alive. I'm not a huge " bark " fan, but it's the perfect solution for the summer. I tore up much of the lawn in back and I'm trying to reshape things. I have some bird feeders, but too many other critters are getting into them, so I'll have to switch to something else. Maybe a good birdbath and lots of chimes !

The bench is the next project. It's unstable, but a great addition to that spot under the tree. The plan is to paint the wood slats and possibly even the iron frame. I am enlisting the help of Nat and Blake, so it will be a great artistic collaboration ! I'm looking forward to a " riot of color " !

Nothing much else going on. A bit of drama in the family but I'm trying to stay a bit detached from it. Been there, done that, you know ? Been listening to the new Dixie Chicks CD and I just LOVE it ! It's no secret that I agree with their views on Georgie and his war ... but aside from that, it's an awesome listen !

Soccer on hold due to a terrible sciatic nerve issue. Acupuncture tomorrow ... hoping it helps give me some much needed relief ! Tried the chiropractor, but no luck this time. My last resort will be a regular doc who is quick to prescribe physical therapy and drugs ... ughh. Terrible choice. I'm not stupid. I can find ways to manage the " symptoms " ... I need someone to help me resolve the cause.

Sixteen days from vacation. The countdown is on ...

2543

Happy Independence Day

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More pics of my day off and OUT in Seattle. Today at work was a nightmare in one sense, a blessing in another. It was a long day ... 7AM to 6PM ... but all overtime ! Now I can afford that extra couple days vacation in July ! Sweet !

But it still drives me nuts to work with people who are SO irresponsible. TWO people called in today. Same two as a few weeks ago. And a few weeks before that, too. Hey ! We've ALL got issues ... we all have crisis and sadness, but c'mon already . Calling in " sick " every time it feels hard to cope ? Shit ! I'd be off half the year if THAT were the way it worked ... I'll try to post something Fourth-of-July-ish tomorrow ...after all, it is INDEPENDENCE DAY.

2536

Nothing quite like a day at the Market. We actually went down to catch a glimpse of Rosie . ( No, it's NOT stupid ! ) We saw the cruise ship ...Went down to the boarding area for a bit, but no Rosie. I'm on my way to Alaska with her in spirit *

I happen to think of Rosie as a kind of mentor, both for politics and her art. Truth is, her " voice " is what comes through loud and clear in both. I love a person who lives at the end of those nerves. Some people work too hard at becoming numb to things. It's less confronting. It requires little, if any, action ... and it dulls the very nerves that are the real center of who we are. Those who know me know that I live wide open. I don't temper my opinions or my passion for things. I've heard it said that if you're not living on the edge you're taking up too much space ... touchee'

Excuse me now while I drift a bit closer to that edge. The view is FAR better over there ...

2471

GRAMPS !!!

Memorial Day 2006

Memorial Day 2006

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WOW ! Great stuff ! Lucie Silvas

The Da Vinci Code

Just saw the movie. Wow ! That's all I can muster at the moment. A lot to ponder and digest. Loved it ! I might have to read the book now for sure.

2455

On Monday I came home to a beautiful burst of color in my art room. Kelly had a vase of gorgeous tulips waiting for me when I ( finally ) arrived home from work. Monday I celebrated 16 years clean and sober. Yesterday, she got me these beautiful Miniature Gerber Daisies. I'm a lucky, lucky girl !

Anniversaries like that are a perfect time for reflection. I love that others ( Kim, my parents ...) acknowledge my " special day " but I am proud of myself, too. Sixteen years ago I switched tracks and got this train goin' a different direction. I have no regrets. It's almost hard to remember the nights I spent driving home so intoxicated I don't remember HOW I did it in the morning. It's hard to see MYSELF as the person who was so obnoxious and unkind to others when I engaged in a bit too much partying. I always thought drugs and alcohol made me more sociable ... more attractive, more creative, funnier ... I thought I was so entertaining and clever and " together " . But when life began to unravel, I had to see the starkness of what my world was REALLY like.

If I had made other choices sixteen years ago, my life might be hurtling down that same godless track toward self-destruction. Or maybe it would have crashed by now and I wouldn't have lived to see the things I know and love today ...

It ain't perfect, my life ... I still have unkind moments. I'm still a spoiled brat once in awhile, and I still raise my voice when a whisper will do. But I don't have the CRAZINESS that came from that near constant intoxication. I don't have the drama. I just have LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS. And I can handle that. I've learned to trust my feelings. I've learned to trust and pay attention to my intuition. I get to make amends more quickly and absorb life a bit more slowly and on a deeper level. I have relationships with my family that I never dreamed of, and a relationship with Kelly that makes me SO grateful that I can be open and honest and generous and caring. Yes, I'm a lucky, lucky girl *

Life IS good ~

2436

Conspiracy theory update.

So. Most of you who know me, know I hate this administration. Since last year I have been floating my own theory on what is building to a crescendo in national politics. I do NOT believe we will have a free and fair election for President in 2008. In fact, I don't believe we will have an election at all. With control of the media ( FOX NEWS will become our " state run " news channel ) , the courts ( up to, and including the Supreme Court ) and the reality that the Congress is becoming more and more irrelevant every day , makes it possible for this administration to simply cancel the next election. Some have said " that's impossible " ... but is it ?

They have been wiretapping US citizens for years. Now it comes out that they have been browsing phone records illegally, and it doesn't stop there. They know what books we read, what subjects we search for on the internet and what we spend our money on. And I'm talking about SPECIFICS, not generalities. We have had our privacy assaulted by these people and it's just the beginning.

They have manipulated the masses to the degree that they can effectively " change the subject " when the criticism gets too loud. They either manipulate the " terror alert level " or start harping on issues like gay marriage, abortion and bird flu to distract us. We saw the level of care and concern this administration has for us after Katrina. We saw the wretched state of federal response. We are now seeing thousands denied housing allowances, empty trailers that could be put to good use sitting in lots in unaffected states, and insurance companies refusing to pay on damage claims. It is despicable. It is embarrassing. It is our reality.

Tax cuts when the deficit is climbing ? A war in IRAQ when the economy is struggling to stabilize ? Tough talk about IRAN even with the FUBAR that is the " war on terror " still playing itself out. Who will fight ? Who will say YES to another bloodbath for young Americans ? No one will. The volunteer army is about to be swallowed up too. Don't kid yourselves. They've had a taste of the kind of power and control that destroys countries. To think they would chance losing their momentum by allowing a " vote of the people " is absurd. There is no way these tyrants are going to let go of power. There is certainly no way they intend to relinquish it by a vote of " the people " .

The truth is, on the whole the electorate is ignorant. People don't engage in true debate. People don't have vision. People think that showing up is all they have to do to fufill their obligation. WE NEED PEOPLE TO DO MORE. We need people to wake up and see what is right in front of them. We need people to be involved in their own lives. If I were a viable candidate running for office and I said these things, there would be people who voted for the " other guy " because they don't like hearing the truth about themselves. Karl Rove knows how ignorant the electorate is. He also knows how to manipulate it. This administration is evil. They don't give a damn about us. Not really. This is about world dominance, and if you believe it can't happen in the good ol' U S of A ... think again. Think about the changes in the last eight years.

For heaven's sake, think about what is happening RIGHT NOW. The President is considering using the National Guard to patrol the borders. That puts the military in physical control of half of the US borders. It brings the possibility of martial law into view for the first time ever. No wonder BUSH is courting the new leaders in Canada. He needs their help. We'd be exposed via Florida, but there's another BUSH in charge there. That could be the gateway for the REAL evil to come into this country ... ( I'll save THAT theory for a different day )

Still think it can't happen here ? Is it really about an immigration problem ? Or is it all about the morphing of our prized democracy into a police state.

The foundation is poured.
The walls are going up around us every day.
Open your eyes !

And don't just say NO ... say HELL NO !

TAG !

I have been tagged by Nici for this particular meme; seems I have to answer these four questions and then tag some other poor unsuspecting bloggers.

Five items in my fridge:

1. Laura's beef ( the good kind, assuming there IS a good kind ... )
2. 4 lbs of strawberries
3. sweet mini peppers
4. a large container of great homemade pasta salad that Kelly made
5. vitamin water

Five items in my closet:

1. seven STACKS of t-shirts
2. 3 suitcases
3. 3 new pair of UGG's
4. 10 postal shirts
5. The New York Times from September 12th 2001

Five items in my purse:

1. my player card for soccer
2. a small plastic sleeve stuffed with stamps
3. a letter from Helen *
4. Burt's Bees lip stuff that goes on white ... I look like a clown for a good ten minutes
5. my fifteen year AA coin ... about to be traded up !

Five Items in my car:

1. red and black soccer ball
2. a " Little Bear " teddy bear that talks
3. a Thomas Guide ( that I never use )
4. a " panic button " that lets off a shrill noise when pushed
5. Gregory Page's newest CD

Five people I've tagged:
1. George
2. Mary
3. Spike
4. Genevieve
5. Blue

2406

I'm sitting here tonight pondering my soccer career. I started on a team in March after years ( and years ) away from the game. Positions had changed and I would SWEAR the fields are larger and the games are longer ! That first night I met my team for the first time. I didn't know a soul. I'm not really like them. I'm not a " soccer Mom " or a devotee for years. I love the game and long for some worthwhile exercise. Actually, I guess that's why we're all there.

I lasted one and a half games before caving to my torn quad muscle. I would've thought it would be my knees that deceived me somehow, but I was wrong. A torn quad muscle will make you aware of it's distress on a regular basis. Every step, every acceleration of the gas pedal, every stair .

I missed the next four weeks.

Last week I started back up. Great field, fairly warm night, and I got a goal ! I woke up sore, but I had a fairly good week. Last night, another game. Big stadium, nice field ( although a pretty rough part of Seattle ) and a cool night. I blew several scoring opportunities, and may have injured my quad muscle all over again.

I suppose for some folks it would be a " no-brainer " to just quit while Im ahead and join the local Bocce Club instead. But I love it. I love the smell of the evening air. I love the running, the adrenalin, the being a part of a team . Frankly, I love the game. It just doesn't seem to be loving ME at the moment.