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On Monday I came home to a beautiful burst of color in my art room. Kelly had a vase of gorgeous tulips waiting for me when I ( finally ) arrived home from work. Monday I celebrated 16 years clean and sober. Yesterday, she got me these beautiful Miniature Gerber Daisies. I'm a lucky, lucky girl !

Anniversaries like that are a perfect time for reflection. I love that others ( Kim, my parents ...) acknowledge my " special day " but I am proud of myself, too. Sixteen years ago I switched tracks and got this train goin' a different direction. I have no regrets. It's almost hard to remember the nights I spent driving home so intoxicated I don't remember HOW I did it in the morning. It's hard to see MYSELF as the person who was so obnoxious and unkind to others when I engaged in a bit too much partying. I always thought drugs and alcohol made me more sociable ... more attractive, more creative, funnier ... I thought I was so entertaining and clever and " together " . But when life began to unravel, I had to see the starkness of what my world was REALLY like.

If I had made other choices sixteen years ago, my life might be hurtling down that same godless track toward self-destruction. Or maybe it would have crashed by now and I wouldn't have lived to see the things I know and love today ...

It ain't perfect, my life ... I still have unkind moments. I'm still a spoiled brat once in awhile, and I still raise my voice when a whisper will do. But I don't have the CRAZINESS that came from that near constant intoxication. I don't have the drama. I just have LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS. And I can handle that. I've learned to trust my feelings. I've learned to trust and pay attention to my intuition. I get to make amends more quickly and absorb life a bit more slowly and on a deeper level. I have relationships with my family that I never dreamed of, and a relationship with Kelly that makes me SO grateful that I can be open and honest and generous and caring. Yes, I'm a lucky, lucky girl *

Life IS good ~