It feels like THIS

So, day number 1 of vacation. Ahhhhh... can you hear it from there ? This has been THE hardest week at The Ol' P.O. I've ever had. Not sure what makes it stand out so much but I'm sure it has to do with the fact that I haven't had a " do-nothing-but-everything " kind of BonnieVacation in a very long time. Oh sure, I've enjoyed time off, but it's been trips and kids and projects. This week ahead is all about ME. I like those kind. I have a clean slate. It's a lot like a fresh sheet of paper without the stress...

My pictures are of my braen. It's a scramble of color and movement and light...

Here's the deal with the P.O. Most people say they'd kill for a good, stable job like I have. Decent money ( I'll never get rich ) , decent benefits ( though they changed this year and the health benefit isn't all it's cracked up to be ...) and copious amounts of annual leave. Those are the in the good column, to be sure. But here's what tips the scale ... over-zealous oversight, bullies for managers and a culture that discourages trust, dignity and respect. Oh sure, the perks are nice, but when you are treated with such disregard it's a bit hard to swallow. Some folks tell me I'm lucky to have that job; that they'd do it even WITH all the bullshit and baggage that goes along.

THAT's when I really get a sick feeling in my gut.

To think that people would CHOOSE to be mistreated for money is sad. To think that one could or would, SELL their self-respect for a few bucks and the promise of stability. But even THAT is a ruse ... there are no guarantees. Ask ENRON employees, or BOEING employees or any number of employees who worked for companies they trusted. Gave their careers on the promise of a pension or a good, sound, solid, SAFE 401K. Ask them.

I hate that the world has become SO disconnected. It's become SO addicted to money that our values have suffered. Whereas words like loyalty and quality and service used to mean something to us at our very core, they have been replaced by words like efficiency and profitability. I think we know what that conjures. The " big guys " making even more money off of the " little guys " .

Being a " little guy " still matters to me. Providing people with a personality and not just a person; providing service, not just delivery; showing respect for the job and the customer and myself even while the business asks that I only do as little as necessary as fast as possible. If that's the trend, it hurts my heart.

I took this job nearly 19 years ago because I liked the idea of fresh air, exercise, connection and the opportunity to SERVE people in a very meaningful way. Beware that the USPS has a new mission. " Less is more; The faster the better; and service be damned ! " I am not afraid of or opposed to, hard work. I have a good, admirable work ethic. I just cringe at the notion of a professional being re-trained to be an unskilled worker. It's hard to ask me not to care. It's even harder to get myself to comply with a request that goes against everything I personally and professionally believe in.

I'm glad for vacation. Truly, I'm grateful for the time away. I only wish it didn't feel like something I NEED in order to maintain some semblance of self-respect and sanity ...