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How on earth does it happen that I hardly so much as blink, and the death toll climbs in IRAQ ?
I continue to pray for a miracle. And for peace. Though it would seem they are really one in the same.

Today is a lazy one. I've been tweaking all my ebay items and going through boxes of things I once considered irreplaceable. Things change. Perceptions, perspectives, priorities, value ... everything shifts in the face of passing time. I used to strike up conversation with folks about " settling " . I used to ask everyone who didn't shut me down, if they believed that people " settle " . You know, really give up on their own dreams. Or at the very least, lower their expectations. I used to believe people who said they " settled " were weak. Now I believe I see it for what it is.

" The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit. The second, is to look things in the face and know them for what they are ... " - MARCUS AURELIUS

Once I really looked inside myself for the answer to that question, I decided that, for me, what has happened is that my priorities shifted. I have never " settled " . The things that are crucial for my survival will always be accommodated in my world, but some things slid a little further down the list. You know, once I hit thirty I had to acknowledge that I wouldn't be rich . Of course, by the time I hit thirty I was beginning to understand a bit better about what was truly " valuable " to me. And it wasn't large sums of money or the pursuit of it. Other things have moved down my list too. I used to want to have a baby, and now that window is slowly closing. It doesn't mean I have given up on wanting a child, just that it won't be a child I bear. Priorities change. It is an inevitable part of growing. If my goals and dreams had never changed, I'd be more concerned for myself. I guess I measure my own success in life by how well I adjust to my circumstances.

A good friend wrote yesterday about treasuring the normal days. Really, it was a message about not taking any of our days for granted. We don't know what lurks around the bend. I used to have this " theory " of the Universe. Picture this : The world is round, and as it rotates, ever so slowly, we rotate with it. Sometimes we are climbing ( can you picture it ? ) and sometimes we are on the other side, and slowly descending. I used to think I could feel every shift. Recognize the angle with which my life was either rising or falling. My Mom thought I was a kook. But to some degree, it helps me to picture it sometimes. It helps me understand why sometimes I feel like I'm invincible and other times, I feel like I've just plunged off into some black abyss. It's not so much, for me, about God intervening, as it the Universe just turning on its axis as it's meant to. And I am meant only to follow. My ability to " look things in the face and see them for what they are " is what guides me. What guides me AND comforts me.

Blah, blah, blah .

So, today is just about thinking and reminiscing about the past. My ebay adventure is all about trading treasures. I sell things that I know were worthy of saving, because someone will be looking for them. And I will seek " things " that help me remember times and moments I forgot to somehow commemorate. I have been on a mission to find things from The Normal Heart play. I saw the production of it in Seattle ( years ago ), but have been collecting items from all over. It was a significant play at a significant time in my life. And I have willingly given a few Sundays in honor of it's trinkets and playbills.

Enough for now. Enjoying kd lang's hymns of the 49th parallel... thanks, Rosie *