Hump Day

Okay, so enough about Rosie ( although she was in my dream last night ... Too bizarre. Maybe I'm spending too much time online ...)

Today was wicked spring-like. The rain shot down from the sky like from a clogged gutter. You know, flat, soft waves in places and torrents of gushing water in others. There was thunder and sunshine and even a rainbow or two. These are the days I love. What I find so alluring is the unpredictability. The instability. The idea that everything that is true one minute, is different in the next. Not such a bad trait for weather. ( Now PEOPLE with those characteristics would be better off keeping their distance ... )

Today is the third day of my " non-diet " . I am not actually weighing in. I could care less about actual weight loss, I just want my clothes to feel better on my body. Oh, you all know what I mean. Sometimes it's just five pounds, but everything is screaming all day . Too much tugging and pulling at the seat of your pants is very distracting. That's where I am. Tugging and pulling. So, I finally surrendered. No more white stuff. No refined flour or sugar, and it looks like the end of my bottomless cups of soda and bottomless bowls of popcorn. This is almost worse than quitting smoking ( which I did nearly ten tears ago ) . I eat out of boredom. I eat out of habit. I pick the wrong stuff because it's easy and I'm tired. Only today did it finally occur to me that maybe I'm tired BECAUSE I'm picking the wrong stuff.

Weird cycles seem to happen in life. I can easily get caught up in " loops " of crappy- ass behaviors. They feed on one another and before I know it, I'm tied up in knots from all my circling. All because I'm trying to avoid the right choices. So, as part of my complete surrender, I have to actually exercise too. ( and I DON'T mean more circling ...) I have used the " I get plenty of exercise in my job " excuse for too long. In fact, for awhile it was probably beneficial ( the exercise itself, not the excuse ...), but those days are long passed.

So, I'll keep you posted. It's just five pounds ( or ten ) for heavens sake ! How hard can it be ? ( Don't answer that ... humor me for awhile ...)

Since I decided to stop selling greeting cards, the orders have rolled in. A GOOD case of " be careful what you wish for "... ( You can see them here . ) Now I'm just feeling the need to stretch my creativity a bit. I love the style I've been doing, but I am also sensing a change, inside. Something is stirring. I'm sure it will let me know when it's ready to come out. It will come like that torrential rain today if I'm lucky *